| 
  • If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • Finally, you can manage your Google Docs, uploads, and email attachments (plus Dropbox and Slack files) in one convenient place. Claim a free account, and in less than 2 minutes, Dokkio (from the makers of PBworks) can automatically organize your content for you.

View
 

Tre's Work Analysis

Page history last edited by Vittoria Veltri 6 years, 4 months ago

Cover Letter:

1.Quick Read: 

    • Choppy sentences in first paragraph
    • Grammatical Errors  
    • Vague Subject Line (who are you specifically addressing?)
    • Second paragraph possibly bullet point skills
    • Switch third and second paragraphs because third paragraph is very impressive.  
    • Work on flow of entire letter
      • Key words: innovative, manufacturing, leadership skills, hands on

 

2.Does is answer the three questions?

    • All questions were answered, but they were somewhat vague. Try to be more direct and personal.  Especially with regards to question one.

 

3.Meets 5 goals

    • Goal 1: Doesn't address the exact job you are applying for
    • Goal 2: Does demonstrate some knowledge, but be more specific
    • Goal 3: Adequately explained why you chose this company
    • Goal 4: Explains qualifications well. Try to make them stand out more with bullet points.
    • Goal 5: Addresses nest step, as an interview

4.Is it persuasive?

    • Very persuasive. Highlighted skills and why you would be a benefit to the company.  Include in the first paragraph a reason why the company would want to hire you.

 

Mechanics/Grammar

    • First sentence of first paragraph is wordy and needs to be revised grammatically.
    • Capitalize the word "I've" in second paragraph
    • Try not to use contractions 
    • Revise first paragraph in general. Make it more concise and easier to read. 

 

Resume:

1. Initial Scan

    • No key words, include them
    • Expand on skills learned and how it would benefit the company
    • Add more favorable personal qualities that you have developed through your experiences  
    • Shows strong technical expertise and supporting abilities but needs to expand on them
    • Format differently with more columns possibly 

2. Headings/Audience Analysis 

    • This resume is an experiential resume
    • Headings are for the most part clear except the bold sub-headings under employment history is confusing 
    • The balance is more towards volunteering experiences.  Need to work on being more specific about the skills gained at past jobs and relevant courses in your education section 
    • Good audience analysis but was not really conveyed in cover letter or resume.  Identify key words you want to include.

3. Critique Key Sections

    • Education Section
      • Does not show relevant courses
      • Does not highlight courses or range of abilities 
      • Does not include any internships, projects, or advanced courses (Review Workshop Requirements)
    • Work Experience
      • Need to consider expanding and including Knowledge gained, Responsibilities given, and Accomplishments

4. Organization/style/ethics

    • Make more of a grid and line things up better
    • organize from most to least impressive, you seems to have the opposite
    • No ethical issues

 

Professional Website:

1. Too much white space

2. The pull down tab is a bit hard to locate at first

3. Add a little bit more content on the first page

 

Usability:

    • Post your resume actually on the webpage instead of just a download
    • include more content in general
    • Re-label Projects 1-3 as what they actually are (ex. building a portfolio)
    • Difficult to find Projects webpage 

 

Comments (1)

Tre'Lon Hunt said

at 4:49 pm on Jan 30, 2015

Your information was much appreciated help, Thank You all.

p.s. Bullet Points are not appropriate for a Cover Letter.

You don't have permission to comment on this page.