Cover Letter:
1.Quick Read:
- Choppy sentences in first paragraph
- Grammatical Errors
- Vague Subject Line (who are you specifically addressing?)
- Second paragraph possibly bullet point skills
- Switch third and second paragraphs because third paragraph is very impressive.
- Work on flow of entire letter
- Key words: innovative, manufacturing, leadership skills, hands on
2.Does is answer the three questions?
- All questions were answered, but they were somewhat vague. Try to be more direct and personal. Especially with regards to question one.
3.Meets 5 goals
- Goal 1: Doesn't address the exact job you are applying for
- Goal 2: Does demonstrate some knowledge, but be more specific
- Goal 3: Adequately explained why you chose this company
- Goal 4: Explains qualifications well. Try to make them stand out more with bullet points.
- Goal 5: Addresses nest step, as an interview
4.Is it persuasive?
- Very persuasive. Highlighted skills and why you would be a benefit to the company. Include in the first paragraph a reason why the company would want to hire you.
Mechanics/Grammar
- First sentence of first paragraph is wordy and needs to be revised grammatically.
- Capitalize the word "I've" in second paragraph
- Try not to use contractions
- Revise first paragraph in general. Make it more concise and easier to read.
Resume:
1. Initial Scan
- No key words, include them
- Expand on skills learned and how it would benefit the company
- Add more favorable personal qualities that you have developed through your experiences
- Shows strong technical expertise and supporting abilities but needs to expand on them
- Format differently with more columns possibly
2. Headings/Audience Analysis
- This resume is an experiential resume
- Headings are for the most part clear except the bold sub-headings under employment history is confusing
- The balance is more towards volunteering experiences. Need to work on being more specific about the skills gained at past jobs and relevant courses in your education section
- Good audience analysis but was not really conveyed in cover letter or resume. Identify key words you want to include.
3. Critique Key Sections
- Education Section
- Does not show relevant courses
- Does not highlight courses or range of abilities
- Does not include any internships, projects, or advanced courses (Review Workshop Requirements)
- Work Experience
- Need to consider expanding and including Knowledge gained, Responsibilities given, and Accomplishments
4. Organization/style/ethics
- Make more of a grid and line things up better
- organize from most to least impressive, you seems to have the opposite
- No ethical issues
Professional Website:
1. Too much white space
2. The pull down tab is a bit hard to locate at first
3. Add a little bit more content on the first page
Usability:
- Post your resume actually on the webpage instead of just a download
- include more content in general
- Re-label Projects 1-3 as what they actually are (ex. building a portfolio)
- Difficult to find Projects webpage
Comments (1)
Tre'Lon Hunt said
at 4:49 pm on Jan 30, 2015
Your information was much appreciated help, Thank You all.
p.s. Bullet Points are not appropriate for a Cover Letter.
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